A zig zag. A road bump. Then crash.
That's how it is in real life. Shattered. Trashed. Broken. Everything is easily destroyed because of one wrong turn. All the length you've travel to seems worthless. And you're left in the middle of the road, looking as confused as you ever will.
Confused. That's exactly how I felt right now. You know, I've never stumbled upon an ever so right word in my life as the word CONFUSED.
I hate looking at my life and realizing I don't really know anything. Like was it really my life or am I looking at somebody else's life? Someone I don't know.
You know, when you had your downward spiral you became obsessed not to repeat it again. But then that obsession is a little too strong that you became unaware of other downward spirals that could possibly happen. And then that downward spiral will grow with the negative thoughts inside your head, worsen by the fear of what the world and the universe could do to you.
I've had my downward spirals. Many times. Times when you thought everything is going great, when it so seemed that life is falling into place. You know, as they say, things are too good to be true. That's when it hit you. That's when you fall into the trap where you can never get back. You lose track of your journey. You see yourself looking around an unfamiliar hell. Somewhere you've never been. Then you start to see yourself in a way you've never seen yourself before.
You'll realize a lot of things. The demons inside you will definitely find it amusing. But that's not the worse. Sometimes, you let those demons to control you just so they'll stop pestering you. But never would they stop ones you let them. They will never be gone.
Confused as it may seem, you have to hop back in your car. Get on the track. But no, do not drive back. There is no time in going back in life. You just have to find a way where you can get on the right track again. Sometimes, it's just a matter of which way to turn.
-S
