How it is that you haven't seen someone for a while and when you actually saw him again, all the feelings and memories come rushing forward like it all happened just yesterday.
How the hell?
You haven't seen him for a few months. You stopped stalking his social media pages. You almost thought you already forgot his face. You haven't talked to him in a while. You thought he already deleted your number.
But the most unexpected moment came. And he was there. He was just a few feet away. You saw him and you're quite sure he saw you too. Even in a span of a nano second, you locked eyes with him. And your heart drummed inside your chest.
You looked away. Why is he there? What is he doing here? Has he seen me?
He was the one who started ignoring you. He's the one who seemed to not care anymore. And you just go along with it. Because you hate getting hurt. You're already getting attached so you distanced yourself too. If he doesn't care, why should you?
You're a little panic-y because you can feel his eyes on your back. He's looking at you and you know it. So when a bus came, you get in it. But it wasn't moving yet. And you're sitting by the window directly right where he is. And you felt his stare again.
Then your phone chimes with a text. You weren't expecting to see his name. The name you haven't seen there in a while. He was asking where you're going...like you have been just talking to him a minute ago...like he really cares.
You pretended to be surprised by the text and you look around. You faked a smile when you locked eyes with him. He smiled back. That smile that once made you swoon. You quickly looked away pretending you're a little too fascinated by the TV on the bus.
You continued to exchange text messages with him. Until he was the one to cut the conversation short again. But you already expected that, didn't you? You already know he won't be talking to you for a while again only to come back like nothing ever happened.
And you pretend like it's okay. Because you had to be okay. Because what ever it is that you're feeling right now, one day, you hope, it won't even matter. That one day, you'll finally won't care anymore.
