Just Another Cliche

You meet this one guy. You get closer. It all seems to be perfect for
a moment. Then someone stops trying. Somebody changed his mind.
Somebody else has no idea why. Then they begin to talk less. Awkward
conversations starts to go between...and memories and feelings starts
to fade.

It's a very cliche story but believe me, it happens. And when it does,
it's painfully devastating.

You feel giddy and excited and almost insane when he told you he had
this feelings for you. You were so happy to know that the feeling you
felt for him was mutual. And then one week later, he's long gone. He's
gone even before you were able to tell him how you felt for him.
Coward.

You have no idea what happened. Then when he came back, everything has
changed. He acted like he never confessed any feelings for you. He
acted like he never loved you. And you were left with all the
confusion in your head.

Now, as the feelings starts to fade, you wonder if it would really
just end there...would it really end when it hasn't even started?


-S-

College Chaos

The drama never stops. Everything seems to be messed up. And in
college, it's more complicated.

It's my last year. Few more months and I'm getting my diploma
(hopefully) and I'm out of the University. And in college, I've been a
different person. It's chaotic. It's frustrating. But it's funny
looking back at everything that happend four years ago.

I can still remember when I first stepped in BulSU... when I was
paying for examination fee... when I was accepted with the course and
major I chose... and the first day of classes.

I will never forget how awkward I looked on the first day. I was 17
and I had this really uncomfortable facial expression like I might
throw out because of nervousness. I'm nervour because I don't know
anyone around. I'm intimidated by all those cool kids who definitely
stand out among the crowd.

But seriously, now, who would thought that the same awkward girl would
be class president? I never did---let alone want it.

But whatever. Nothing's really chaotic. It's just my mind living in
total chaos. With all the projects, the exams, the requirements, and
all the freaking pressure of being a graduating student.

I've lost weight because of the hardworks and stress. And I can't
believe soon it will all be over. But I will miss college. All the
homeworks, the written reports, business plans, computations,
lectures, discussions, brain storming, overnights, classroom jokes,
trying to stay awake in class, doodling in the back of notebooks, and
just simply everything that happened in college.

I will MISS everything. I will MISS everyone. I'm sure few years from
now, I'll look back, reminisce and wish I'll be back to where I am
now...but I'll try to hold back the tears and smile that I proudly
made it though hell weeks, sleepless nights, stressful days, and every
cruel times of college.

I will look back... no matter how chaotic things become. :)


-S-

Nothing But Alone

Well, it's one of the facts that I recently learned. That no matter
how many friends you have, no matter how you thought they cared, at
the end of the day, you'll still end up with no one but yourself.

When you count your friends, do not count when you had your eyes open.
But count when they're closed...that's when you'll know who got your
back.

Most of the time, it's depressing to go by with just yourself. But
what else can you do? You have no one to turn to and no one wanted to
be with you. But it's not because you have no choice. You've got a lot
of options to choose from. But you'd rather chose to be alone than to
end up with someone who'd just left in the end.

When you're alone, there is lesser probability of getting hurt. But
most of the time, it's freaking lonely...not having someone to talk
to, someone to laugh with, or someone to be just by yourside when you
needed them. When like puts you in a quicksand of mess, no one will
take your hand and pull you up.

It's hard going by yourself everyday, because no one can like by
himself, right? You have to have someone by yourside. No matter who
that some is.


-S-