Just Another Cliche

You meet this one guy. You get closer. It all seems to be perfect for
a moment. Then someone stops trying. Somebody changed his mind.
Somebody else has no idea why. Then they begin to talk less. Awkward
conversations starts to go between...and memories and feelings starts
to fade.

It's a very cliche story but believe me, it happens. And when it does,
it's painfully devastating.

You feel giddy and excited and almost insane when he told you he had
this feelings for you. You were so happy to know that the feeling you
felt for him was mutual. And then one week later, he's long gone. He's
gone even before you were able to tell him how you felt for him.
Coward.

You have no idea what happened. Then when he came back, everything has
changed. He acted like he never confessed any feelings for you. He
acted like he never loved you. And you were left with all the
confusion in your head.

Now, as the feelings starts to fade, you wonder if it would really
just end there...would it really end when it hasn't even started?


-S-

College Chaos

The drama never stops. Everything seems to be messed up. And in
college, it's more complicated.

It's my last year. Few more months and I'm getting my diploma
(hopefully) and I'm out of the University. And in college, I've been a
different person. It's chaotic. It's frustrating. But it's funny
looking back at everything that happend four years ago.

I can still remember when I first stepped in BulSU... when I was
paying for examination fee... when I was accepted with the course and
major I chose... and the first day of classes.

I will never forget how awkward I looked on the first day. I was 17
and I had this really uncomfortable facial expression like I might
throw out because of nervousness. I'm nervour because I don't know
anyone around. I'm intimidated by all those cool kids who definitely
stand out among the crowd.

But seriously, now, who would thought that the same awkward girl would
be class president? I never did---let alone want it.

But whatever. Nothing's really chaotic. It's just my mind living in
total chaos. With all the projects, the exams, the requirements, and
all the freaking pressure of being a graduating student.

I've lost weight because of the hardworks and stress. And I can't
believe soon it will all be over. But I will miss college. All the
homeworks, the written reports, business plans, computations,
lectures, discussions, brain storming, overnights, classroom jokes,
trying to stay awake in class, doodling in the back of notebooks, and
just simply everything that happened in college.

I will MISS everything. I will MISS everyone. I'm sure few years from
now, I'll look back, reminisce and wish I'll be back to where I am
now...but I'll try to hold back the tears and smile that I proudly
made it though hell weeks, sleepless nights, stressful days, and every
cruel times of college.

I will look back... no matter how chaotic things become. :)


-S-

Nothing But Alone

Well, it's one of the facts that I recently learned. That no matter
how many friends you have, no matter how you thought they cared, at
the end of the day, you'll still end up with no one but yourself.

When you count your friends, do not count when you had your eyes open.
But count when they're closed...that's when you'll know who got your
back.

Most of the time, it's depressing to go by with just yourself. But
what else can you do? You have no one to turn to and no one wanted to
be with you. But it's not because you have no choice. You've got a lot
of options to choose from. But you'd rather chose to be alone than to
end up with someone who'd just left in the end.

When you're alone, there is lesser probability of getting hurt. But
most of the time, it's freaking lonely...not having someone to talk
to, someone to laugh with, or someone to be just by yourside when you
needed them. When like puts you in a quicksand of mess, no one will
take your hand and pull you up.

It's hard going by yourself everyday, because no one can like by
himself, right? You have to have someone by yourside. No matter who
that some is.


-S-

The Long-Gone Prince

The PRINCE. Well, actually, there's no prince...yet. But there could
have been. There could have been a prince if only he was brave enough
to fight for the Princess.

But he was weak. He was a coward. He was afraid to be hurt so he let
go...he let go of the Princess even before he got a hold on her.

But the Princess waited. She waited for so many years now, hoping,
wishing, praying that the Prince would change his mind...that he would
fight for her...that he would not let others to touch her.

But he did not do anything. He screwed up every chance she gaved him.
He's screwing up until now. And it makes the Princess insane. It makes
her feel frustrated, mad, desperate, annoyed, exasperated, and
helpless all at the same time. But one special feeling tops everything
inside her. One special feeling that keeps her hoping, keeps her
waiting for him...though she's not sure if he'll ever come around
again.

Maybe, just maybe, the Prince is waiting for the Princess to be in
distress before he come around. He's waiting for his chance to save
him. But doesn't he realize how much distress he's giving her by just
not showing around? Doesn't he realize that she's still human? That
any minute, that one special feeling that she felt for her might just
be nothing anymore.

The Princess might love the Prince...but that doesn't mean she'll love
him forever. That doesn't mean she's willing to wait that long. Not
when that right Knight in Shining Armor comes along.

How to Win the War?

The thing about not getting what you want is the frustration and
desperation that came along. The desperation that you really want
something, and the frustration that you can't have it.

When you're a Princess, people in the kingdom will thinj that you have
everything...but they just don't know how many things you've been
missing every single day. They just don't know how helpless you're
becoming each time you failed to get what you want.

The Princess doesn't even know how to get what she wanted. Or maybe
the right term was that she doesn't even know what she wants. There's
a little voice inside her that says she's too far...that she's too
damn far from what she wants. And it freaking annoys her. Deep down
inside, she's a sucker for getting everything...but not this time. Not
this time because what she wanted is not what she needed.

But still, there's that little hope inside her. There's that little
voice saying she can get what she wants, despite of all the voices
that tells her she can't.

The more the Princess thinks about it, the more real it becomes...the
more closer she felt. And with the right game plan, with the right
army on her side, she knew she can win the war.


-S-

Pretty Boy

Right from the start, I should have known
I should've realize I was better off on my own
How could I have been so stupid trusting you?
Why did I ever believe this love could be true?

I was starring off a distance by the window pane
Don't know if I'm waiting for a shooting star or an airplane
I'm going to wish you'd never changed your mind
Or maybe just blame myself for being so blind.

The radio's on, playing another beautiful, sad song
The lyrics just reminds me of how everything went so wrong
The pain inside creeps up every bit of me
I can't believe now you're just a memory.

It hurts to know that you never really cared
How stupid of me to think we're perfectly paired
Tonight I'll sleep replaying everything that happened
Or maybe because of you, I won't be able to sleep again.

One second you're here, now you're gone so fast
It's like a fantasy movie where we are the main casts
God, I wish I had the power to get you out my mind
'Cause my heart is broken, only pieces I can find.

I'll turn off the lights, maybe shut my feelings too
But I'm scared that tonight, I would still dream about you
One look, one smile; in the blink of an eye
I'll fall once more and for the same reason, again I'll cry.